Thursday, July 12, 2007

Ahahah..Fact About JAPAN

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Japan's currency is the Hentai, and is one of the most valuable currencies around the world. Tokyo's main exports are anime, Lolicon, Hello Kitty, Pokémon and Whores. Interestingly enough, those little "Made in Japan" stickers are produced in France. The Japanese economy has suffered a stock market crash recently due to lousy American dubbing infiltrating their pure product. Japan is also known for the development of Methamphetamine in the early 1900s, and in recent years Metal Gear Ac!d™ and Lumines. However, Japan has recently rebounded due to their ability to harness their monsters, and have begun to export other products including Gamera, Godzilla (a.k.a. Godzirra, in local dialects), imitation Mothra, and samll pieces of George Dudya Bush's vomit.

Earlier this century, Japan financed the creation of the "Greater East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere" which was to incorporate all of East Asia into a single autonomous adult entertainment company, thus strengthening its borders and increasing economic clout. However the plan went down in flames, much like Yamamoto's initial attempt to bring anime to the United States in the 1950s (more groundwork in the form of Nintendo and Yu-Gi-Oh cards was necessary). As Beat poet Kitano Takeshi once observed, "The "Greater East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere was neither east, nor Asian, nor prosperous, nor a sphere." (lit. WONDERFUL FUN! BIG CRUNCH TIME? 100% SUPER ELBOWS!)

Japan's workforce is also suffering due to a declining birthrate and the export of most manufacturing facilities to places like Malaysia and Newfoundland. The declining birthrate has been linked to the availability of karaoke machines and video games in love hotels, which all too often turn what would have been a night of steamy love-making into an intense Mario session. It is estimated that by the year 20X4, Japan's workforce will consist entirely of newborns or worm-ridden corpses; neither group is thought to possess the skills and technical know-how to continue Japan's reputation as an enlightened technocracy. Researchers project that this will result in the removal of the enlightenment and technology, leaving only debilitating misogyny and sexually deviant porn (see Amsterdam).

Due to unstable exchange rates on Hentai, Japan's economy has suffered in recent years. So dire is the situation, that the dwarf-sized furniture industry has collapsed altogether, and business owners are being forced to find substitutes, like pieces of cheese covered in Pokemon skins. The industry is thus currently dependent on the practice of selling under-aged girls to Yakuza Chefs, whose profitable businesses pay massive amounts to use them as tables.

To improve national morale in the face of economic turmoil, the government plans to capitalize on the success of Hello Kitty by putting "Hello" in front of all Japanese goods and men of power (e.g. "Hello Squat Toilet" and "Hello Junichiro Koizumi".)



p/s:lawak siott...


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